A Journal

I'm coming to realize through experience just how exhausting this "I have young kids" phase of life can be.  We get together with friends and I'm constantly correcting my two and a half year old's behaviors (pushing, hitting, throwing, not obeying).  Upon leaving I wonder, "Did I really have a meaningful conversation with those wonderful friends?"

Or I put two kids in bed for a nap, thinking they are quite tired after a late night and will probably sleep at least two hours.  Forty minutes later an eight month old wakes up, not to return to sleep.  And, yes, she is exhausted and doesn't want to be put down from my arms.  There goes a relaxing hour alone.

I watch closely the parents of teens, grown children and even ten year olds.  What freedom they have to:

• simply sit in a chair and read in the eveing
• host a brunch with lots of homemade goodies
• stay up late, go to bed early and otherwise sleep as needed
• enjoy road trips
• eat dinner while it's warm

Even as I sit and write, I get a beautiful, toothless smile from my sweet happy baby girl and remember (as I do daily) I want to enjoy ALL the moments and phases of life.  To not only wish for the freedom to read on my own, but to run and laugh when I hear "Mommy, et's wun."

To the friend who said "I remember leaving friend's house thinking "What did we just talk about?"  The Lord knew how I needed to hear that.  And her boy is six - only six.  This exhausting phase will, of course, not last forever.  So I will soak up the memories and all the sleep I can get.

Good night.